ARLINGTON, TX – The long awaited second-coming of Jesus Christ by Christians across the world came and went without being noticed by a distracted crowd. The appearance was made on the field of Cowboys Stadium during the most recent Dallas Cowboys game; however, the crowd’s attention was sharply focused on the stadium’s enormous video screen.
“I’m not sure I even saw the field. That place has a really awesome TV, so I just kind of sat down and zoned out for a couple of hours,” said fan Chris Kelly of the stadium’s high definition video board – the largest in the world. “They could have been rendering livestock down there and I wouldn’t have noticed.”
Some attendants of the game battled multiple diversions. “I was distracted not only by the video board, but also by the nacho cheese mess I was getting all over my hands,” said fan Cody Allen.
The second-coming was only spotted by a viewer at home who managed to accidentally catch sight of the field itself. “I was watching the video board as it appeared on my TV at home, like anyone else. But, I happened to be adjusting the volume when I caught a glimpse of the field in my peripheral vision. That’s when I saw the unmistakable glowing figure of Jesus at the 30 yard line.”
Closer viewing of the game’s video showed that the second-coming was a good 15 minutes where Jesus attempted to catch the attention of the crowd. At different times he spoke to crowd, waved his arms, and eventually left after appearing frustrated by the Cowboys’ careless penalties.
NFL owners are expected to meet to discuss the installation of a Jesus-detection technology in all stadiums in the future to avoid missing a potential third-coming.