Southwest Reminds Panicked Customers that Bags Flew Free

DALLAS, TX – The recent midair near-disaster for a Southwest Airlines plane has the company closely inspecting planes and scrambling to deal with concerned customers. While the passengers aboard flight 812 were left with the disturbing experience of flying with a hole torn in the top of the roof, Southwest was able to look at the positive and noted that all of their bags flew free.

Southwest reminds passengers that bags flew free
Aircraft mechanics forgot to check off the “Is airplane about to fall apart?” item

After the flight, Southwest customer representative Joel Bannister reminded the passengers, “Number one, you didn’t die. And number two, your bags flew free.”

“People are rather focused on the one negative of that flight,” said Bannister. “Looking at the big picture though, the plane departed on time, we had no complaints about the in-flight drink service, and, of course, bags flew free.”

“Oh, and I almost forgot. All of those miles counted towards everyone’s Rapid Rewards miles – our red tape-free frequent flyer program.”

While many passengers on the flight found it to be a nightmarish few minutes, others agreed that not all was negative.

“As I was sitting there in my own feces, after the initial fear subsided, I admit to thinking how annoyed I would have been if I’d paid a baggage fee,” said one passenger. “Plus, you get that same fear of dying on a Greyhound, and that would have been so much slower than flying.”

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