BIZARRO FORT WORTH – Area residents woke up in mid-July and discovered they had accidentally stumbled into an altered reality in a different universe. Unlike the previous “regular universe” that locals were familiar with, the new alternate universe appears to have pleasant summer weather with lows in the 60s.
Said one resident, “Oh man, I am so sick of these endless days over 100 degrees! Oh wait, it’s fucking awesome outside right now. Did I hibernate until October? It would not be the first time I’ve done that – I’d better call my boss.”
Most across the area have enjoyed the cooler weather and hope this inter-dimensional trip isn’t temporary, though not all were satisfied.
“I guess it’s nice outside, but I’m indoors all day anyway,” asked one anonymous high school student. “And why couldn’t we have been transported to a dimension where I have a girlfriend? Also, what am I supposed to do with the Axe deodorant I just bought?”
As to the cause of the unprecedented event, UTA physics professor Lana Dunning explained it was likely the result of an “interdimensional wormhole and/or Back to the Future-type thing.”
“Otherwise this universe is exactly like our old one,” added the professor. “Wait, could rattlesnakes fly in our old universe? Because that is happening as well.”