WASHINGTON – After an exhaustive study reported that being bi-curious is “not that big of a deal,” military leaders struck a last minute deal with Congressional leaders to replace the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy on sexual orientation. Congress sent the new bill, officially entitled “The Military Bi-Curious Exemption Act,” on for an expected Presidential signature.
The new deal allows for the military branches to continue officially disallowing the service of gays and lesbians, while labeling such same-sex behavior as “bi-curiosity.” The law allows for individuals to be consider “bi-curious” for up to 50 years before being considered gay or lesbian and being banned from serving.
Upon reading the study, the Joint Chiefs of Staff agreed with the findings. “Oh no, bi-curious is definitely not gay. I did some odd stuff after drinking here and there, so it’s cool.”