This Website Is Full of Inaccuracies!

Bitter Tom

Bitter Tom

Attention, readers! This news website you read, the DFWian, is full of gross inaccuracies. I am not exaggerating when I say it is perhaps the most inaccurate news source I’ve ever read.

I assure you I had no idea at the piss-poor journalism standards they had here when I signed up as an editorial writer. I didn’t find out until recently when a few incidents tipped me off.

First, the wife is polishing my golf shoes when I tell her about the planned ziplines for downtown Dallas. She tells me the story is hogwash. I ask around, and yup, it’s a half-truth at best. That’s the liberal media for you.

Another incident. I’m out giving the neighbor kid a stern talking-to about the second-rate job he did mowing my yard, when I mention that they fried and ate Big Tex at the State Fair. Again, I learned that I had been duped.

Who’s to blame for this scourge of misinformation? This generation just doesn’t understand the value of real reporting. This two-bit website is most likely just written by a much of computers. Someone probably just hits a button on their phone that says “create shitty website” and there you have it.

Nope,¬†Walter Cronkite does not work here. If there’s any accurate reporting on this site, this is it.

One comment

  1. Jesus Chrysler Super Car

    I was pretty ticked when I read that story about Fort Worth backing out the streetcar plan, but boy was I relieved to learn it was just a joke. You had me going for a bit there, but I’ll forgive you Star-Telegram. Wait, that’s the REAL news?? Hmm.

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