Pete Delkus Predicts 4 Months of Ball Sweat for North Texans

DALLAS, TX – In his most recent forecast, WFAA TV meteorologist Pete Delkus called for 4 months of drenching ball sweat for the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex.

Delkus Forecasts Ball Sweat for North Texas
Delkus’ weather map shows intense heat and potentially a nice breeze in the shorts region

“I’m giving this forecast with a very high level of confidence,” said Delkus. “I will be surprised if Dale Hansen doesn’t walk in here smelling like a rhinoceros enclosure all summer long.”

Delkus advised those in the affected areas to quickly return to shorts and boxers for the immediate future.

In addition to ball sweat, according to WFAA’s Doppler Stormtracker Roadster LX, summer temperatures hovering near 100 degrees will also increase the chances of widespread ass sweat.

“It’s advisable to avoid sitting on leather upholstery as well,” says Delkus. “Speaking as a certified meteorologist, it totally sucks get to stuck to that stuff.”

Just hours earlier, Delkus had a highly accurate forecast of gas and sleepiness after his cheese enchilada lunch.