Dallas Officials Eyeing Closure of “Mosquito Dave’s” Mosquito Farm

DALLAS – Dallas city officials are targeting new measures in their battle against the West Nile Virus outbreak.

One area official confirmed that the southside mosquito hatchery of popular local “Mosquito Dave” was under consideration to be shut down.

Dallas Shuts Down Mosquito Dave
In the face of his worse professional moment, Mosquito Dave remains ever wistful and ever slathered in Deep Woods Off.

“Everyone loves Mosquito Dave. I’m not sure why he has a mosquito farm, but I guess he’s serving some community need,” said a city council member.

“We’ve got to consider all of our options though, however unpleasant they may be.”

Despite reports that Dave’s vast pools of stagnant breeding grounds are the source of 90% of the local mosquito population, many are reluctant to take action.

“We should¬†do everything we can in this battle against West Nile, but this seems a bit extreme,”¬†said Dallas resident Cade Lewin. “Skeeter Dave is like a father to me, and all his mosquitoes are like my brothers and sisters. My tiny, flying, bloodsucking brothers and sisters.”

In a separate effort, officials also were expected to roll out a new door-to-door mosquito spraying program. Upon knocking at a residence, the new policy calls for anyone opening the door to be immediately doused with mosquito-killing chemicals to ensure their safety.

“People want to know they’re safe and that’s what we intend to do,” said one official. “We completely drench them with who-knows-what and that keeps away the mosquitoes. From what I recall it’s mostly just water anyway, water and assorted toxins.”