Punxsutawney Dave Growing Increasingly Bitter

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA – Another Groundhog Day celebration has come and gone with a prediction of early Spring. While most attendants and locals enjoyed the Groundhog Day festivities, one groundhog in particular, Punxsutawney Dave, found the event nearly unbearable.

Groundhog Punxsutawney Dave Growing Bitter
Punxsutawney¬†Dave wishes he hadn’t ordered the HD cable package

Few groundhogs have achieved the level of attention of Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who is pulled out of his hole and help up during the event. Regardless of whether or not Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, his older brother Punxsutawney Dave sees red.

Over the years, Punxsutawney Dave has grown more and more resentful of Punxsutawney Phil’s fame. Locals believe Punxsutawney Dave has become a bitter and spiteful groundhog because of it.

Years ago, Punxsutawney Dave and Punxsutawney Phil were close pals, but that all changed during a fateful brunch. While Punxsutawney Dave was just finishing up mixing their mimosas, a pair of hands reached down into the hole. Punxsutawney Phil was plucked out of the hole and thrust into fame. Since then, Phil’s fame has brought only jealousy to his brother.

“I don’t see what Phil brings to the table. He just wiggles around and mouthbreaths, misses his shadow like a dumbass and that’s it,” said Punxsutawney Dave.

While Punxsutawney Phil seems to be unaware of any tension between he and his brother, others wonder what’s to become of Punxsutawney Dave. He has talked of moving to LA to try his luck as an actor, but others see that as a questionable idea.

“I think Punxsutawney Dave overrates the need for more groundhogs on TV,” said another area groundhog.