// news storyFriday, April 18th, 2014

National News

Sylvia Breasts to Likely Replace Anthony Weiner in Congress

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the mounting Twitter scandal surrounding Representative Anthony Weiner, Capitol Hill watchers are speculating on whether or not he will step down from his Congressional seat and who his replacement may be. New York City Council member Sylvia Breasts is thought to be the early front-runner to replace Weiner if the seat is vacated.

Council member Breasts is known to have a firm and buoyant personality, which has helped to keep her in good standing with her constituents. At times, she has come under fire for being saggy and lopsided on issues, but political analysts report she is what the people want to see.

Anthony Weiner to be Replaced by Sylvia Breasts

A DFWian.com poll asked, “In Texas, would you rather see Breasts or Weiner?"

“At this point in the game, Breasts’ campaign managers don’t want to see her develop too early,” says one analyst, who asked to be kept anonymous commenting on Breasts’ support.

“I would much rather see Breasts than Weiner,” Says John Summers, a New York voter.

Breasts has always been a huge hit with the male and special interest voter, specifically lesbian voters. Her platform has always perfectly represented that demographic of Americans. Going into an election year, voters will likely see Council member Breasts with a few new enhancements that will appeal to an even larger demographic.

“Weiner has been a major embarrassment for the area,” said another New Yorker. “We want the nation to take us seriously, and we think Breasts can make that happen.”

You can follow the Sylvia Breast campaign on Twitter here @Breasts4America.

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Discussion

3 Responses to “Sylvia Breasts to Likely Replace Anthony Weiner in Congress”

  1. It’s political scandals like these that make me glad I waste every election with my write-in vote of “Ava Gina.”

    Posted by Jesus Chrysler Super Car | June 9, 2011, 12:57 pm
  2. go Sylvia you sexy thing!

    Posted by Silvia | June 9, 2011, 11:11 pm
  3. See I always go straight for Ava Gina, but my wife says I need to start paying attention to Herra Clit.

    Posted by John Summers | June 10, 2011, 2:54 am

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